Dear Reyne,

            I joined a lab a few months ago.  I am pretty sure that an older graduate student in my lab is having an affair with my PI.  I feel uncomfortable with it.  They’re pretty obvious about it sometimes when they don’t think people are watching.  What should I do?  Should I tell someone in the department?  Is there someone I can talk to?

Sincerely,

Confused in a Lab, CA

Dear Confused,

            This is a pretty serious problem.  Don’t get involved!  Don’t talk about it!  Talking about it to anyone would get you involved.  If you report it to the department, you’ll get involved.  It’s a very messy business, so don’t get dirty.  I recommend leaving the lab.  You just started, so you don’t have that many results yet.  It won’t be a terrible loss to join a new lab and start over.  Consider the following points.

1. Most likely, someone will end up finding out.  The news will spread, and everyone’s reputation in the lab will be muddied.  As a student in the lab, your accomplishments could be questioned even if you didn’t do anything wrong.  You’ll always be associated with a ruined PI.
2. Even if your PI does end up getting away with it, you will be in a lab that has unbalanced power.  The person that your PI is having relations with will be like a mini boss.  You’ll have to step carefully around this student.  Annoying wouldn’t begin to describe how that’ll be.
3. Can you really trust a PI who is having an affair with a student?

Best of Luck,

Reyne